
SAFE in the Global North
I should feel safe here in my comfortable, warm home here in rural Germany. I have routines that give my days structure. The water flows from the tap, the ovens faithfully give warmth (thank you trees!), there’s organic coffee, tobacco and plenty of food (come by, I’ll cook for/with you). I’m on good terms with most of my neighbors. I’m lucky and grateful. But I don’t feel safe.
Not only because there are erratic weather patterns that make it more difficult to grow food. Or the lack of wild bees and other pollinators that disrupt the cycles of fruit trees. Or early or late frost nipping seeds’ potential in the bud. Or the pesticides, herbicides and fertilizers my conventional farming neighbors use that invariably penetrate my garden’s soil.
Not only because there are glaring signposts in flashing neon colors indicating just how precarious things are becoming. And this is nothing compared to the wars, hunger, political and environmental disasters, and compounded collective trauma of our predicament with Death snatching up anything that moves (or stands still) and white supremacist leaders determined to finish us all off so they can have a desert planet all to themselves. No, I don’t feel safe.
But I can still sow new seeds and keep young food plants in the house or greenhouse longer. I can still do all kinds of things to invite insects. I can still collect water, use as little gas as possible and plan for further disengagement from the prevalent infrastructures (except the internet). And I can still buy food at the supermarket if I must and have the necessary cash. I can still launch a local initiative to create sustainable mini biotopes without letting on how fragile they will become. I can still develop complex systems for using wastewater, creating healthy compost. I can still keep the door open. And I can regularly attend DAF events. Still, none of this makes me feel safe.
Because our predicament is going to rock my world harder, and all this busyness could blow up in my face. My neighbors’ potential panic could turn feral, and our resources tempt violence (we’re different). What if, despite collectively (the same neighbors, other possibility) pooling all our resources, there isn’t enough to go around? What if, despite all our efforts, I will have to watch trees, plants, animals, people, my children and grandchildren die?
(Pause: BREATHE, Ramey, we’re not there yet.)
What I can’t do is ignore my fear, shame, guilt, grief and complicity. I can’t avoid being human. I am not safe in my own skin. I can drown in the deluge of my own senses at any time. And although I also experience wonder, joy, compassion and deep love, when things get dire inside me, all my doing seems nothing but hubris and vanity.

For people on the front lines of collapse, safety is a full belly, slaked thirst, sturdy shelter, healthy children, strong communities, and a bomb-free, drought-free, flood-free, fire-free, colonization-free, coercion-free environment.
For our creeping, crawling, flying, four-legged and swimming relatives, safety is a full belly, slaked thirst, healthy children, strong communities and a pesticide-free, genetics-free, forest fire-free, flood-free, airplane-free, whaler-free, administration-free habitat.
And for our green relatives, safety is good soil, reliable seasonal cycles, healthy children, slaked thirst, strong communities, pollution-free rain, tornado and hurricane-free winds, resilient roots, abundant sunlight, and honorable harvesting.
Safety, for many in the Global North, is a steady income, dominion, control, individualism, exclusiveness. The fully belly and other essentials are simply taken for granted. We recognize our hunger for connection but have been on such a meager emotional diet for so long that ingesting who we really are, how we really work from the inside out, seems like dodgy food indeed. We have forgotten that good medicine is not sugar-coated, but often bitter – still, somewhere inside us, we know it works.
This is white supremacy’s cruelest joke on us. DAF and other collapse-awareness/acceptance supporting portals allow us to connect. With ourselves first. We can dine, feast or daintily nibble on connection. With bravery and practice, we can remove the yoke of disconnect, own who we are and join the vast community of Life on Earth. Vulnerable, authentic, alive.

All Life wants to do is live. Learning to join our energies, collectively embodying our fierce and powerful love and yearning for life is demanding work. We’re up to it. We’re on it. It is exactly what Deep Listening, Deep Relating, Earth Listening, Four Rs, Wider Embraces, Governance Circles and Grief Circles help us learn.
If I have learned anything from DAF it is this: I need human beings to become human. The isolation I feel in my community is mine to dismantle. It is up to me to break through the barriers. And that only works if my heart and mind are open, where I have a modicum of brave space in me to weather who they are with compassion, curiosity and respect. They, too, are indoctrinated.
Step by step, courageous and persistent, we can unlearn self-condemnation, self-justification, self-centeredness, self-consciousness, self-shame, as well as self-confinement, self-sacrifice, self-sufficiency and self-doubt. We can know ourselves beneath the endless layers of white supremacist isolation. We can delve deep and come home to a heart space we can trust beyond all the skepticism and denial converging on us from all directions.
I come to DAF spaces to be touched by you all. To learn first and foremost about myself among other human beings. As collapse escalates, I must be braver than I have ever been and confront whatever it is in me that prevents people from feeling if not safe, then at least brave in my presence.
No one can create a safe space for our individual feelings, perceptions, and senses, unless we forget to fear. We could be much braver in DAF spaces, much more trusting in the impulses that guide us to weep, rage, moan, mourn, embarrass ourselves or express shame (probably the worst of all). Witnessing another human being’s agony is a gift deserving of our resonance, compassion, care. We give of ourselves and ease the burden of another’s of suffering. That’s beautiful, that’s a moment of safety.
When we’re brave enough to recognize the preciousness of our inner world and how she/he/it is urging us to learn and grow, we gladly buy one-way tickets for the journey to becoming the best human beings possible. We could learn to know ourselves so well that we experience a moment of feeling truly safe in our own bodies and hearts. Before it passes. And we are changed. Deeply humbled. Grateful. Happy.
CAUTION: This kind of bravery tends to inspire love, gratitude and compassion for the human species, including, of course, yourself. What you broadcast, no matter what, the world receives. What you heal, heals the world.
I encourage all of us to stop seeking safe spaces and accept Mickey Scottbey Jones’ Invitation to Brave Space. (Thank you Constance for the impulse) We could trust more in our collective strength and call out the demons residing in us, dance with them, curse them, heal them, cook them dinner (Read: Be a Good Host by Toni Spencer). We could take them with us to Deep Relating, Deep Listening, Grief Circles, Four R’s, Earth Listening, Collapse Club, Wider Embraces, Governance Circles, Spoken Word and show them off.
DAF is there for us to practice finding safety within ourselves so we can be there for others. Loving responses is a journey, not a destination. I truly believe we need to tread our internal war zones with a carefree gait, to let our inner mines blow up in our faces with compassionate witnesses looking on. No, DAF events do not create safe spaces, but brave ones. So, let’s be brave. And keep showing up online to become braver, humbler, more alive. Practicing, practicing, practicing so we’re ready when the world goes offline for good.

Letting go of safety is an invitation to truly transform ourselves. To become who-knows-what, an entity integrated with and most humbly welcoming all the risks of being wholly alive. It’s a package deal. Buy it.
Tempered by time, Ramey Rieger is much less terrifying than she seems. She’s addicted to wonder, nicotine, sudoku and Life unleashed. Deep gratitude to Dorian and Lisa for both redirecting and feeding my fire.
Jim Claunch
Ramey,
Thank you for revealing the mind of a brave authentic open-hearted hard truth embracing vulnerable ordinary kind human being. Are you at your best every moment? Like most of us probably not but writing this for others was some best self stuff. In you, Ramey, reside both wisdom and love and my guess is also bright eyes for noticing beauty and a heart where humor quickly finds a home.
Today I am grateful to you for writing this and sharing it. For me, gratitude for just have been and still being alive even this day is a Superpower of light in our collapsing daily growing darker world . Reading en-courage-ing thoughts like these from a brave-heart like yours is a double bonus. Thanks!
Ramey Rieger
Dear Jim,
Thank you for your generous response. And no, I certainly am NOT at my best every moment :-)! I’m still figuring out what my best is. Blessings to you on this new(ish) day!
Walk in Beauty,
Ramey